After two months of successful interviews (Zoom, Written Scenarios, Panel), there was one final interview regarding racial inequity and social justice. In this final interview, I encountered quite a few questions regarding my race and identity. When presented with the question, "How do you identify?" I responded that I identify as a gay man and that when I was younger, I questioned my gender identity and explored my identity as a woman until landing on being gender nonspecific. The answer I provided seemed to shock quite a few panelists, including Allison, the CEO, who looked at me with quite disgust.
I was taken aback by the responses I had received after divulging my gender journey. I then apologized and asked how else they wanted me to identify. Jade responded, "Well, if that's all you identify as.." which I replied, "Yes. That's all I identify as." My response didn't seem to satisfy what the panelists were seeking, so the CEO pressed by saying, "Well, I also expected you to identify as a white man." I tried my best to assert that I do recognize that I am a white male, yet my upbringing and how I was tortured as a child by my white counterparts caused me not to identify that way. Growing up, I gravitated towards people of color and their communities because they accepted who I was and what I stood for.
Again, my responses did not satisfy what the panelists were seeking. When I was finally allowed to ask a question, I requested that someone answer the identity question to better understand how best to answer it. However, all seven panelists declined to answer. In which I responded, "It's a hard question to ask and answer to, isn't it?" Again, no one responded to the follow-up, and we moved on.
I understand that I did not provide a sufficient answer to the identity question they were asking. Maybe because I didn't detail my ethnic background, I am a quarter Brazilian, and providing that additional proof of why I wouldn't identify as a white man would have satisfied their ignorant questioning. However, I believe the root of the issue stemmed from the responses I received from every panelist, coupled with the body language shown while providing my sexual orientation and gender identity journey. To me, it was clear that this was a body of people intolerant of the LGBTQI community.
Regardless of my experience, they were more upset and disappointed that I didn't identify as a white man. And in my opinion, expecting an individual to identify a specific way based on their perception shows a profound lack of understanding of how people identify. In my opinion, we should not be looking at an individual's race or identity as a single integer. We should be looking at each other as a whole and what each of us can bring—coupled with persevering for a passion of serving, educating, and propelling everyone forward. We should not be expecting anything from each other regarding our perceptions, judgments, and biases. And I am despondent I did not see that from the people at Lincoln.